ASSIGNMENTS IN TIME

Continued… Jake’s life is changing, but it doesn’t feel good… he continues to learn to feed on the Word.

 ASSIGNMENTS IN TIME                                             <><                       

“You make me feel like a single mom, you  have no interaction in our lives.” my  wife blurted out one morning that week.. “I talk, but I feel you only partially listen.  I’m always second place to you. Same with  the kids. You have your agenda and if it’s  not convenient, then you don’t listen to us.” 

She continued getting louder.

“If something is going on with your clients, then we talk. I’ve always listened, but you don’t even know what’s going on in our world. When was the last time you talked with Annabelle? Or even play with the boys? All you do is work.”

I frowned. I didn’t know what to say. She was right.

She continued. “I just had to expect it to always be the same, but frankly I can’t handle it anymore. I’m done. Our kids are being seriously affected.”

“Shhh. Now you’re getting loud. You are right, I’ve been so focused on me.  I’m so sorry.” I said. 

 She bit her lip and looked away and sniffled into a tissue.                                                                                        “Honey, my work challenges shouldn't be an excuse. I have always  thought that you should understand that  because I was the main provider in the  family. That was weak and not what you needed from me. It was a huge mistake. I haven’t  listened to your needs closely and I haven’t  given the family very good leadership, if at  all… I want it to be different, really.” I said.

Linda looked doubtfully while wiping her eyes, shivered, then began to walk away.

“Look Linda, I won’t pretend to have all the answers, but I am truly  getting lessons every night and then each  morning I read them. I’m learning the Lord really cares about  us. He will never leave us or forsake us.  Please forgive me. I am trying to be a better man, with God‘s help, I will be…” 

“Oh, now you're going to give me a holier than thou approach.”

She shook her head back and forth, waved her hand in the air dismissively while sniffling as she walked out of the room. 

“You’ve changed temporarily after counseling, but never kept it up even after all those marriage retreats. Now you lead a men's study.  It’s all a facade. Woo hoo, I’m so impressed.  I know the real you.  This won’t last. You really do need help.” She slammed the door to our bedroom.

She was right.

                                           <><              

  “Did you ever think maybe you were following the pattern you saw as a kid?” Dan asked.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“What was your Dad like?” He replied.

“Hmm. You might be right, Dan.”

                                            ><>                        

 My guardian, as I now called him, told me one night.  

“You have to mirror the lessons from the  living Waters in the heavenlies, here on  earth in your daily living.”

“I’m trying, by the way, what is your name? I have never even asked you.”

“Edmund.” He smiled.

“This is tough. I had no idea it would be this hard.” I complained.       

Edmond retorted with a scold. “Nothing is going to change by bellyaching, your answers will  only come by reading and hearing God’s word for yourself,  not just waiting for that perfect sermon or special minister’s words. You must thirst  daily.”

I just sighed.

                                               <><

I continued hosting the weekly men’s breakfast.  Great dialogues and discussions bounced back and forth. It was a rich time of sharing each other's lives with one another. I candidly shared some of my challenges with several of the men that week. The men circled  around me and laid hands on my shoulders.  They asked for God‘s presence to fill me. I  felt a peace so strong that morning. I knew that things would all work out.  

                                                          ><>                   

“How’d you do it so well Dan? How do you get a hold of your life?”   I asked.  We often spoke with each other after that morning's breakfast.        

“By learning to listen to Him, He will lead you a day at a time.”                                                                   The 88 year old said and smiled. He put his hand on my shoulder. “There's truth in the old adage, it's sometimes darkest before dawn. “Thanks for sharing with me Jake. I  welcome you to continue. This is actually encouraging. I have plenty of time now, especially since my dear Esther passed into glory.  You know, we had nearly 65 years together. Keep writing, brother, I’m glad we talked.”  He said. He was like the dad I never had.

To be continued next week. Jake gets the surprise of his life…

©️Donald Schuler

2023